- She talks about everyone- Her neighbor is stupid. Your cousins are fat. Her coworkers are nosey, and did you hear that Joan is getting a divorce because her husband wants to be with a man? Here’s a clue, if your friend gossips about everyone don’t think for one moment that she isn’t gossiping about you.
- Her world is always worse than yours- Drama, drama, drama doesn’t even begin to describe toxic friends life. You mention how you were late to an important meeting because you forgot to fill up the tank, and you had to stop and get gas. Toxic friend tells you, “That’s nothing. This one time I was late to work because my boyfriend took my car to go somewhere and he didn’t come back on time and I had to report it stolen because I forgot that he still had the car…..” you get the point. Whatever you say is “nothing” because her life is always so much worse.
- Your positives are her negatives. –You just got a promotion. Toxic friend doesn’t congratulate you; instead she points out how you’ll have to work more and you probably didn’t get that much of a raise. She also mentions how others at work will probably hate you because you are now their boss.
- Her motto is “It’s not an insult…I love you.” You are eating a cheeseburger and she calls you a cow. She tells you your new furniture looks like she woke up after eating too much Chinese food. However she tells you not to worry as she is just joking with you because she loves you.
- Your other friends refuse to be around her and they also question why you are her friend. While it’s true that sometimes our best friends can pre-judge people; the fact still remains that those outside of a situation can see it more clearly than those who are standing right in the middle of it.
7 responses so far ↓
1 Iliana // Aug 28, 2007 at 4:24 pm
Aint it the truth?!?!
2 nora // Aug 29, 2007 at 2:28 pm
I READ ALL OF THESE AND THANK GOD NONE AND I MEAN NONE OF MY FRIENDS ARE LIKE THIS….
so YEY ME!!
from san diego,CA
age 20
3 joe // Sep 2, 2007 at 5:39 pm
if none of your friends are like that than maybe you should look closely at yourself.
4 Angelica // Sep 5, 2007 at 1:49 pm
yea I’ve had one of these…we no longer talk…
5 Dani // Sep 9, 2007 at 5:19 pm
i know a number 2
6 Amon Johnson // Sep 9, 2007 at 10:01 pm
I just divorced one of these and it’s the best thing I could have ever done!!! She even got upset when people were giving me “so much attention” while I was going through chemotherapy!
7 The Wholesale Guy // Jan 2, 2008 at 3:54 pm
Great post. I, unfortunately, have known many people that have at least one of these traits, and a few, that take possession of all of them.
The gossip portion is especially true.
I just never thought much about it, and was under the impression that everyone “talks about someone” from time to time.
But, you are right. Constant complaining about the world, and everyone in it, is a destructive mindset that you need to run, not walk away from.
I have, over the years, eliminated all the toxicity from my social inventory. While friendships are few and far between these days, it sometimes better to be alone, then to be in bad company..
Regards..
Robert C.
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