Comments on: The Arrogant Mommy Wars http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/ Women's Empowerment Juice with a Twist of Lime Wed, 07 Jan 2009 04:55:22 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2686 By: allena http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-304 allena Sun, 06 Jan 2008 03:15:28 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-304 "The study I read said that both stay-at-home moms AND full-time working moms would be happier if they were working part-time." I can attest to that. I found SAH frustrating, annoying, and not particularly fulfilling. I found WOH exhausting, guilt filled and not fulfilling either. The only solutions I've personally liked is working part time out of the home or working IN the home. I agree with the rest of the comments, too, I just wanted to point out that there are 2 other choices out there. “The study I read said that both stay-at-home moms AND full-time working moms would be happier if they were working part-time.”

I can attest to that. I found SAH frustrating, annoying, and not particularly fulfilling. I found WOH exhausting, guilt filled and not fulfilling either.

The only solutions I’ve personally liked is working part time out of the home or working IN the home.

I agree with the rest of the comments, too, I just wanted to point out that there are 2 other choices out there.

]]> By: Sheryl http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-302 Sheryl Fri, 04 Jan 2008 18:30:11 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-302 I have just read through all of the comments and it seems, for the most part, we all are in agreement. It's all relevant to each individuals circumstances. As for myself, I have always preferred to stay home and be with my children. That, to me, is the most fulfilling and prosperous 'job' I ever had. I didn't just sit around but involved them in programs where not only did they flourish but I met other intelligent women as well. But, alas, divorce forced me back into the work force. I still have a teenager at home and, to have the best of both worlds where I can have the flexibility I want/need yet be earning a good living, I have decided to (while still working full time) start an online business where sooner than later I will be able to give up a job that I dread going to everyday to become a Mompreneur. I also think that the word 'feminist' has different meanings to different people from the 'burning bra' mode of belief to, what I think has become more prevalent...just plain old equality for all and the freedom of choice without any judgment. I have just read through all of the comments and it seems, for the most part, we all are in agreement. It’s all relevant to each individuals circumstances. As for myself, I have always preferred to stay home and be with my children. That, to me, is the most fulfilling and prosperous ‘job’ I ever had. I didn’t just sit around but involved them in programs where not only did they flourish but I met other intelligent women as well. But, alas, divorce forced me back into the work force. I still have a teenager at home and, to have the best of both worlds where I can have the flexibility I want/need yet be earning a good living, I have decided to (while still working full time) start an online business where sooner than later I will be able to give up a job that I dread going to everyday to become a Mompreneur.
I also think that the word ‘feminist’ has different meanings to different people from the ‘burning bra’ mode of belief to, what I think has become more prevalent…just plain old equality for all and the freedom of choice without any judgment.

]]> By: DJ Nelson http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-300 DJ Nelson Thu, 03 Jan 2008 04:30:00 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-300 <p>I have no idea why your comment isn't showing up right now but it's a great comment.</p> Edit: Ok, got it. For some reason the URL you posted caused it not to show up so I removed it. I must have my spam filters set on extra high. I'll see if I can put it back in. I have no idea why your comment isn’t showing up right now but it’s a great comment.

Edit: Ok, got it. For some reason the URL you posted caused it not to show up so I removed it. I must have my spam filters set on extra high.
I’ll see if I can put it back in.

]]> By: Tracee Sioux http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-295 Tracee Sioux Tue, 01 Jan 2008 00:39:55 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-295 <p>The study I read said that both stay-at-home moms AND full-time working moms would be happier if they were working part-time.<br /> The statistic was nearly equal on both sides 50 - 60% and the pole was done by the Pew Research Center. I hate this argument because it presumes there are only two choices - stay at home or work. Most moms I know vascilate between the two depending on economic need and age of children. It's doesn't need to be a binding moral decision.<br /> It's also inherently judgemental of other women. I have this theory that if WE start respecting each other as women then men will follow suit.<br /> We - as feminists - during this election , need to insist on the third, fourth and fifth choice and then choose which one fits our lifestyles, economics, professions, families, children's ages and values.<br /> Given only two choices of course many of us are unhappy. Children or work? What kind of a lame self-defeating and family-defeating decision is that to make?<br /> A painful one that's what kind.</p> The study I read said that both stay-at-home moms AND full-time working moms would be happier if they were working part-time.
The statistic was nearly equal on both sides 50 - 60% and the pole was done by the Pew Research Center.
I hate this argument because it presumes there are only two choices - stay at home or work. Most moms I know vascilate between the two depending on economic need and age of children. It’s doesn’t need to be a binding moral decision.
It’s also inherently judgemental of other women. I have this theory that if WE start respecting each other as women then men will follow suit.
We - as feminists - during this election , need to insist on the third, fourth and fifth choice and then choose which one fits our lifestyles, economics, professions, families, children’s ages and values.
Given only two choices of course many of us are unhappy. Children or work? What kind of a lame self-defeating and family-defeating decision is that to make?
A painful one that’s what kind.

]]> By: DJ Nelson http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-283 DJ Nelson Thu, 20 Dec 2007 15:59:25 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-283 I call myself a feminist (sometimes) for simplification purposes. It's easier than saying I'm an assertive woman who doesn’t subscribe to every patriarchal notion that this country is rooted in. I call myself a feminist (sometimes) for simplification purposes. It’s easier than saying I’m an assertive woman who doesn’t subscribe to every patriarchal notion that this country is rooted in.

]]> By: (army)wife http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-282 (army)wife Thu, 20 Dec 2007 14:00:55 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-282 "I thought feminism was about making choices for ourselves?" I've also wondered that exact same thing Anji. Feminism has gone from standing up for our rights to be women as well as having the same rights as men, such as choice, to standing up for our rights to be women, but just as long as your not a stay-at-home-mom-like-to-wear-pink-love-to-watch-chick-flicks type of girl. I feel that this debate is proof of that. If you don't conform to the "working mom" idea than you're not a feminist. If you're proud of being pregnant and you like to show of your mothering skills, then you're not a feminist. It doesn't matter that you made that choice and are much happier with that choice. All that matters is that you're not conforming to how feminists feel you should conform to be one of them. I myself am a strong woman and believe I should have the same rights and choices as men. However, I'm not a feminist. I am simply an independant woman and I'll believe in what I want and make the choices that I want. “I thought feminism was about making choices for ourselves?”

I’ve also wondered that exact same thing Anji. Feminism has gone from standing up for our rights to be women as well as having the same rights as men, such as choice, to standing up for our rights to be women, but just as long as your not a stay-at-home-mom-like-to-wear-pink-love-to-watch-chick-flicks type of girl. I feel that this debate is proof of that. If you don’t conform to the “working mom” idea than you’re not a feminist. If you’re proud of being pregnant and you like to show of your mothering skills, then you’re not a feminist. It doesn’t matter that you made that choice and are much happier with that choice. All that matters is that you’re not conforming to how feminists feel you should conform to be one of them.

I myself am a strong woman and believe I should have the same rights and choices as men. However, I’m not a feminist. I am simply an independant woman and I’ll believe in what I want and make the choices that I want.

]]> By: DJ Nelson http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-281 DJ Nelson Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:19:14 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-281 I concur but I've found that the definition of choice is changing. It's becoming more of a selective choice sort of thing. I concur but I’ve found that the definition of choice is changing. It’s becoming more of a selective choice sort of thing.

]]> By: Anji http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-280 Anji Wed, 19 Dec 2007 17:12:07 +0000 http://www.alldivamedia.com/blog/2007/12/19/the-arrogant-mommy-wars/#comment-280 I stayed home with my son for 18 months and it wasn't boring or tedious. It was fascinating, frustrating, enlightening, educational and downright fabulous. If I could still be home with him I would. I thought feminism was about making choices for ourselves? I refuse to be called a 'lesser feminist' simply because I enjoy being the best mother I can be. I stayed home with my son for 18 months and it wasn’t boring or tedious. It was fascinating, frustrating, enlightening, educational and downright fabulous. If I could still be home with him I would.

I thought feminism was about making choices for ourselves? I refuse to be called a ‘lesser feminist’ simply because I enjoy being the best mother I can be.

]]>