From Valentines Day Marriage Tips, to Valentines Tips For Kids, to Curvy Valentines, to Long Distance Valentines Day ideas, our divas have been throwing their own flavor into this holiday. But what about a feminist perspective?
Yes, you know I hate labels, as if all women who call themselves feminists have the exact same views, but I figured that someone had to see Valentines Day as a holiday that marginalizes women, and I was right.
Enter this 2005 post called Sex For Roses.
In it, Laurel states that she dislikes Valentines Day for two reasons; political and societal, and she believes that her feminist perspective has a lot to do with it.
“That kind of substitution of the generic for the personal is one of my big political problems with Valentine’s Day. Another is the way all the approved actions are so strongly gendered, with women cast as the people who want reassurance, love, and romance, and men cast as the ones who provide it (by spending money, of course)…Valentine’s Day is all about keeping all those roles in place. Women provide sex and want romance and money; men provide romance and money and want sex. Eew. I hate thinking of my relationships, romantic or not, in that transactional mode.”
While I guess the point is valid, I really don’t think it’s that deep. Come on let’s be honest. Valentines day isn’t really about love, romance, or sex. It’s about money. It’s just another major way for companies to profit and I’m not mad at that because if people don’t like it, they don’t have to buy into it.
And in response to Valentines Day being some sort of “exchange of services”; you have to keep in mind that men aren’t the only ones that have money, nor are they the only ones who buy Valentines Day presents.
I’ll take any reason to go out and buy a gift. If it’s Valentines Day, Christmas, or the 6 month anniversary of the last time we went on vacation, I’m hitting the mall.
The only problem I see is when society gets so involved that people end up with hurt feelings. Kids who don’t get valentines day cards in school, singles who stay at home depressed every year because it’s February 14th. That’s the only thing that bugs me, and I think that could easily be corrected if adults drunk a little dose of “who cares, society doesn’t control how I feel about myself”.
What do you think? Is Valentines day a harmless tradition or is it more trouble than it’s worth?
3 responses so far ↓
1 (army)wife // Feb 14, 2008 at 9:55 am
I posted about the “Anti-Valentine’s” feelings on my blog the other day. If the unattached sit at home and are depressed about their lives on V-Day, then they have bigger problems than simply a holiday. Valentine’s Day is supposed to be about the one’s you love and not just in the romantic sense. It’s about telling everyone that you love (spouse, parents, grandparents, siblings, friends) that you appreciate having them in your life. I think you should tell people everyday that you love them, but V-Day is a day when you can say, “I wanted to do something special today to show you that I love you.” Whether that’s buying flowers, cards, candy, making dinner, or something else that you don’t do on a regular basis. It’s like I said in the my blog, hating V-day because you’re unattached is like hating Veteran’s Day because you’re not a vet.
2 DJ Nelson // Feb 14, 2008 at 10:15 am
You are absolutely right. When I was single I never even thought about Valentines Day in a gloomy way, it was just like any other day. Sometimes my family and I would exchange little trinkets but I never felt inclined to sit around with my bottom lip poked out.
3 joe // Feb 16, 2008 at 2:20 am
We both gave each other a card, I bought her present she took me out to dinner. Its a time to say you love each other, even if you already do every day anyway.
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