How do you feel about the statement “I want to stay at home with my kids because I don’t want to work” ?
When I heard someone say it, I’ll admit it struck me as a little odd and a bit insulting. As the old saying goes, sometimes it’ not what you say…
“I want to stay at home with my kids because I think it’s the right thing to do” - OK
“I want to stay at home with my kids because I feel it’s God’s calling for me”- OK
“I want to stay at home with my kids because I don’t believe in daycare”- OK
But to say “I want to stay at home with my kids because I don’t want to work” is a big slap in the face.
The first slap is obvious- it makes it seem as if stay at home moms don’t work at all. It breathes life into the stereotype that stay at home moms do nothing all day but shop, eat chocolate, and occasionally wipe down a few counters.
Also, it makes the person who said it sound extremely lazy, and in turn, everyone else who is a stay at home mom has to take the brunt of it. This is slap number two because women can’t choose to stay at home because they think it’s the best thing for their family, no, these women must be lazy and not want to earn their own keep.
Oh, and don’t dare let it be a dad who stays at home, slap number three. My goodness the criticism he’ll get.
In my opinion society should value having a parent at home instead of seeing it as a cop out for people (women especially) who don’t want to work . But certain comments don’t help that cause.
Don’t believe me? Google “stay at home moms are lazy.”
7 responses so far ↓
1 Kendra // Apr 30, 2008 at 10:20 pm
As a young stay at home mom myself, I can’t believe someone would say this. Obviously, someone who hasn’t made the choice to do it. It is a huge responsibility. I have only one child and he is a handful by himself so I can imagine what others with more children go through. Cleaning the house, looking after the baby(ies), and cooking every single day is enough in itself not including that SAHM’s also act as accountants, doctors, personal shoppers, babysitters, therapists, and a host of other things. I say anyone who thinks we are lazy try living it for a week and see how they feel.
2 DJ Nelson // May 2, 2008 at 10:46 am
I agree, though I haven’t experienced it so I can only imagine.
I’m getting tired just reading about it!
3 A Man // May 6, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Cooking, cleaning, and taking care of a baby doesn’t take 8 hours a day. Sorry but it doesn’t. If you clean, you aren’t cleaning the same thing 7 days a week. If you cook ok that takes about an hour; 2 hours if you are slow. And taking care of kids-wow, playing games, watching tv, and cuddling are really tiring.
Moms are important and I love you for it but stop acting like you do so much work because you really don’t. Get a job outside the home and then add on your momly duties then ok I will buy it; but I don’t buy sitting around the house all day as work.
4 DJ Nelson // May 9, 2008 at 9:38 pm
Are you serious?
5 Kendra // May 10, 2008 at 2:35 am
I’m thinking the same thing DJ. I’m almost in disbelief. Playing with the kids IS tiring. Especially when you do it all day. Cooking might take an hour, but if you’re doing it three times a day which I know some women do, that adds up. Also, kids aren’t all hunky dory all the time. There’s the tantrums, feeding them takes even longer as they get older and are learning to feed themselves, whoever, man or not, thinks moms have it easy just isn’t looking at all the little things we have to take care of. Eight hours goes by quickly when you’re doing as much as I(try) to do in a day. I may not have a full time job, but I and a lot of other women have other ways we make money on the side. We’re not just sitting around doing nothing like you think.
6 Dannie // May 13, 2008 at 2:50 pm
WOW. Have a reason behind doing something instead of just pure laziness. And does this person believe a SAHM is lazy? Is that why she wants to SAH? I have only been a SAHM for one year, after my second child was born, but once my oldeast was in kindergarten, I chose to return to work.
For me, both positions I have carried - being at home and working in the corporate world - still carry all the same responsibilites, cooking, cleaning, school work, doctor appointments, school acitivites, paying the bills, grocery shopping, and more. Each was just handled in a different way. Each one is exhausting in its own way.
It is sad that a mom would truly believe that.
7 Tracee Sioux // May 28, 2008 at 5:40 pm
And that explains why”A Man” got a divorce last year.
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