First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the name change and a baby carriage?

I’ve already discussed some of the difficulties I’ve had in regards to my husband and I having different last names and our plans to eventually change to MyLastName HisLastName.

I’ve dealt with the raised eyebrows, questions of my loyalty, and people refusing to accept that I don’t want to be called Mrs. HisLastName…but now it’s time to tell them to shove it, and make it legal.

The time has come to get new driver’s licenses.

I always knew that when we changed our names it would be easier for me than for him; but now that the time has come I’m kind of pissed off at the double standard.

I spent a half an hour on the phone with the DMV, and I still don’t understand why I can bring in a marriage license to change my name to MyLastName HisLastName; but he has to have a court order.

Yes, I already knew that would happen, but it’s a different feeling when someone actually says it to you aloud.

Why isn’t the same paper that’s valid for me, valid for him? I feel like going Michael Bijon on the state of Virginia. Anyone know of a good lawyer who would take on a case like this? I’m serious…

In the past, I just accepted the court order as something we’d have to do. I shrugged it off and said “well, that’s just how it works”, but now I have to question why.

I guess I already know the answer. It’s expected that a woman will change her name and anything other than that is abnormal and needs extra government interference. I suppose it will always be that way until people lose the hang ups over the last name game.

I’m so sick of women whining about how they don’t want to change their last name then ultimately doing it anyway. I am so sick of family members pressuring women into feeling unloyal if they choose not to give up a part of themselves. I am annoyed with men who think a man is less of a man if he loves his wife enough to take on her last name.

To all of you I say, get over it! There’s nothing feminist about it, it’s just common sense. If you don’t want to change your last name, then don’t! If a man wants to change his name, then let him. If you can’t wait to take on your husbands name then go right ahead.

It’s funny how the same arguments that are used to pressure women, can be turned around the other way.

“Well if you loved him you would”

“If he loved me he would respect my decision.”

“Families should have the same last name”

“He is free to change his last name.”

“His family would be so hurt if you didn’t”

“I would be so hurt if I did”

And it goes on and on and on….

But back to this drivers license issue.

I guess before we hit the DMV, we’ll be hitting the circuit court…unless someone takes me up on my offer of recommending a lawyer to sue the pants off of this state. We shouldn’t have to go to court for my husband to change his last name, but since we have to, we might as well go all the way.

Share This