Unlike the lists that tell you how to apply lipstick in the dark or the necessity of black lace bras, this list is about empowering young women, not helping them indulge in sexist stereotypes.

It’s time to turn smart girls into wise women.

Here are 5 Things That Every Girl Should Know Before She Turns 21.

1. Unless he is your husband, never put a man before your friendships. Despite what society tells us, there is no need for women to fight over a man. If he wants to be with you, then it will be apparent. You should not have to fight or argue for his loyalty; if you do, he is not worthy of your time.

2. Cattiness is not cute. Neither is being drunk, or dressing like a hooker. There are so many images in our culture that tell us otherwise and that is unfortunate.

Instead of being catty, strive to be complimentary. Make someone feel good about themselves instead of cutting them down. Also realize that it’s not advantageous for you not be fully alert while you are out. If you are drunk and can’t look out for yourself, who do you think is going to look out for you?

As for the hooker attire, you aren’t one so why give someone that image? Strive to be respected for your thoughts, your intelligence, and your overall character as opposed to how hot your bod looks in that mini skirt.

3. Value yourself before you expect someone else to value you. If you are looking to someone else to raise your self-esteem then you have it backwards. It’s called self-esteem for a reason. You need to look inside yourself before you go looking to someone else.

The same holds true if someone is making you feel bad about yourself. This cannot happen if you don’t allow it.

4. You are worth more than your sexuality. You are more than just a pair of legs and a cute butt. Don’t be so easily impressed by men who only compliment you on your body; you are worth more than that.

5. It’s okay to say no. If someone is pulling at your moral strings and encouraging you to do something that you don’t feel is right; then don’t do it. If you are worried about losing a friendship over it, then let me be the first to tell you that the person wasn’t your friend to begin with.